Yesterday was pretty eventful. I woke up at six in the morning, met my friend Laura at eight and then drove over to an eleven-bedroom Spanish-style mansion for a photoshoot. The first look was natural and for a new line of synthetic makeup brushes, while the other two were so "out there" I have no intention of posting the finished results to my Facebook Timeline. One of the more memorable aspects of the shoot was that Kim Vo from Bravo's show Shear Genius styled my hair for the two "out there" looks. I've never actually seen his show, but I was very impressed by how thoughtful and sweet he was. It's refreshing to meet someone that's experienced some degree of fame but hasn't let it go to their head.

Kim Vo

At the end of the shoot, someone that I have been interested in also called me for the first time. It is two hours ahead where he lives, so we were only able to speak for around forty minutes or so. I think the conversation went pretty well and he texted me afterwards to tell me he enjoyed talking to me. Still, I plan on taking this very, very slow. I've learned that nine times out of ten, people turn out to be completely different than the way they appeared after first meeting them. Anyone can put up a façade, and good-looking men seem to be especially adept at pretending they have substance. This time, I'm not giving a man my trust from the get-go; I'm making him earn it.

As for other areas of my life, I'm technically on a "leave of absence" from medical school, but will more than likely not be returning in the fall because I dislike it so much (and it's still, believe it or not, very hard for me to admit this). I'm living in a condominium by myself with my three-year-old, four-pound Maltese, Apple. A friend ended up acquiring five dogs due to a failed relationship and moving back in with her parents, so Apple needed a home. I'll post pictures of him one of these days. He's adorable and definitely one of the biggest joys of my life right now. As for work, I'm meeting with two brothers that, between them, are producers, vocal and piano coaches once a week to finally finish, record and produce the songs I've written. I have no idea where any of this will go (if anywhere), but I figure this is the time to at least try it out. By far the scariest thing I've ever done, so I'm just doing my best to take it day by day...

In less serious news, Hunger Games comes out on March 23rd! Who else is excited? I'm thinking of re-reading the first book before I see it. Also, can I just say, wow, these images of Peeta are perfect?!

I was unsure at first about his casting, but he's totally giving off a Peeta vibe here. ;)

Happy Tuesday, friends! I'm off to go and run a few errands... :)

I finally visited with a dermatologist yesterday, and I am so pleased that I did! It was my first time meeting her and she was much kinder and warmer than I was expecting. She addressed every one of my concerns, and I had several. Now that I'm in my mid-twenties, I'm very interested in preventative aging techniques. For a while, I had been using Neutrogena's Healthy Skin Anti-Wrinkle Cream for Night, an anti-wrinkle cream containing retinol that I had read online was one of the best available at the drugstore:

Personally, I didn't notice any difference using the cream. Then again, I applied it only a few times a week rather than religiously every single night so that might have been to blame.

Still, I was interested in learning more about the prescription retinol creams available. I had heard about Tazorac, but according to my dermatologist, Tazorac is generally only used on people with oily skin. Since my skin is very normal, she told me the Tazorac would be too drying and irritating for me. Instead, she recommended Tretinoin:

The added benefit of using either Tazorac or Tretinoin is that it also treats acne in addition to fighting and preventing fine lines. I've never had a problem with acne, but I do get the occasional pimple on my T-Zone. I'm hoping the Tretinoin will enable me to kill two birds with one stone.

The other amazing thing about this prescription retinol cream is that it only cost me $15 with my insurance! I was expecting it to be much, much more. Neutrogena's Healthy Skin Anti-Wrinkle Cream for Night that I was using cost about that much, and the Tretinoin bottle contains more product, is more effective for treating fine lines and also treats acne! To me, this is an absolute no-brainer.

If you're interested in treating your fine lines and wrinkles or are in your twenties and are interested in slowing the aging process, definitely consider a prescription retinol cream. I'm so glad I made the switch!  

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. One minute, I'm thrilled to finally be living my life more authentically and feeling hopeful for the future, and the next, I'm as depressed as can be. The specific thoughts that trigger my depressive mood are always the same: any thoughts related to medical school or to the person I still have unrequited feelings for...

Although I recognize that I don't truly want to be a physician, it still hurts hearing about others that are on that career path. The distorted thoughts that I am a failure and will never be as successful as them enter my head, and I, unsurprisingly, am left feeling terrible. It makes no sense. How am I a failure if I don't want to be a physician and because of this, decided to move on from something that wasn't going to make me happy? Furthermore, how is it a fact that someone, simply because he or she is a physician, will be more successful than me? Even if that person is more financially successful, success in life is not always measured by material wealth. If I became a physician and was financially successful but hated more than eight hours of every day of my life, how could I possibly be said to be living a successful life? The truth is, I would not have been successful had I become a physician - at least not in the most important sense of the word.

As for the second depressive mood trigger, I'm essentially allowing this person to decide how I feel about myself. He, in the end, did not consider me valuable enough to make time for, so I considered myself to not be valuable. I realize this is an unhealthy reaction to have, so I want to focus now on building my self-esteem. I want to consistently feel strong and "good enough," regardless of how poorly others treat me. If someone does not value me, that does not mean I am not valuable. I am worthwhile simply because I am a human being but I am also, I believe, a genuinely good person. Furthermore, I am fortunate enough to not be unattractive, unintelligent or untalented. If someone cannot see this or insists on taking me for granted, that's their loss.

As for me, I think it would do me some good to remember this: if I am willing to put up with a man that does not appreciate me, I will end up with a man that does not appreciate me.