The biggest lesson I've learned (and am still learning) in life is simply to trust my own intuition. I've never been very good at trusting my feelings before. I'm sure you could sit me down and psychoanalyze me to try and figure out why this is the case, but does it really even matter why? I just never paid very much attention to them. Trust me, I had feelings, and they would come out quite explosively on certain occasions, but I just never put very much stock into them. Instead, I put my trust in cold, hard facts. I would analyze situations ad nauseam trying to figure out what was "right" and what was "wrong," as if nothing in this world comes in shades of grey, only black and white. Even if my feelings were screaming that something wasn't right for me, if I couldn't find any empirical evidence to verify my feelings, I would promptly dismiss them.

I've realized through hard experience that this way of thinking can only get you so far in life. I know it's kept me from exercising my creativity to its fullest potential, left me paralyzed with fear over other peoples' opinions (because if I won't trust my own opinions, I'm left with only the opinions of others), but perhaps most of all, I'm convinced it's left me completely handicapped when it comes to dealing with relationships.

For example, I'll meet someone and analyze them as if they were a cell in a petri dish. "Is he a good person?" I'll ask myself. Well, he did "this," "this" and "this" to me. Therefore, evidence seems to suggest that he is a good person and still worth seeing. (I kid you not, this is roughly the way I would look at things.) I would look at each of the person's actions individually, deciding whether any of them were "deal breakers" or not. He talks to many different women? He appears to be extremely vain? He seems to lack a strong degree of empathy? I would focus on these types of questions without ever stopping to consider how I actually felt about the person. Did I feel good around them? Did I feel happy thinking about this person? Did I feel like I could be myself around them? Was I constantly hit with a strong sense of "No, no, no! This person is bad for you!" when I was around them or thought of them?

I think these questions are immeasurably important and can steer you in the right direction far better than analyzing what the person looks like "on paper." I believe that if someone intends to hurt you or is being in some way disingenuous with you, your gut will always let you know. It's when you look at the action without listening to your gut that you risk being manipulated.

My gut has never been wrong before, yet I've still chosen to ignore it. But, that was the past, and I have no control over it now. The important thing is I'm learning. I feel it very strongly in my gut, for example, that the person I most recently went on a date with is wrong for me. This time, instead of analyzing what he did, said or didn't do or say, I'm just going to listen to my gut and let it all go...

When I dislike someone else and/or believe they are hurting me, it is really my own thoughts about that person that are doing the damage. It's true that person may be doing or saying objectively hurtful things to me and it may be in my best interests to remove myself from further encounters with them, but it is ultimately only the thoughts I continue to entertain in my head about them that bring me down.

The beauty of this truth is that no matter how someone else treats me, I can choose how I react. I don't have to let it hurt me. If I change my mindset, my experience will change.

I can choose to be happy no matter how someone else is treating me. I have that power. This is MY world. MY reality.

By Cheryl Richardson

Over the last couple of months I've become quite taken with daily exercise. I know, I know, it seems a bit crazy to imagine enjoying working out, but it's happening. Once I got back into the swing of things after a long year of travel, I quickly experienced the enormous benefits of moving my body every day.

Like any new habit, there's a natural path of development for affecting change. Once I decided to create a daily routine, I dusted off an old newsletter I wrote about the four stages of developing the discipline to exercise every day. As I reviewed the info, it really made a difference, and I hope it inspires you to do the one thing that will have a huge, positive impact on your health and longevity - MOVING!

Let's take a look....

Stage One - Let's get this over with, shall we?

At first, exercise can feel like a chore. After all, it takes effort to move your body, especially if you've been sedentary for a while. As you start to exercise, you may find yourself counting the minutes on the treadmill, or waging an inner battle with yourself about whether or not to sneak out of the gym early. When I was at this stage of the process, two things helped. The first was using the support of a partner. When I was tempted to "just skip this one workout," my sister, Kerri, my workout partner, challenged me to stick with it and follow through.

The second was that I didn't allow my perfectionism (one of my top fitness obstacles) to create a negative association with exercise. For example, in the past when I'd start working out, I'd do things like raise the elevation of the treadmill too high, thinking that it would quicken my progress. This only caused my legs to feel like lead the next day. Or, I'd force myself to complete every single minute of my cardio routine even though I felt exhausted and needed a rest. Although it's important that a fitness program be progressive to build strength and endurance, allowing yourself to be driven by a perfectionist "inner task master" is setting yourself up to fail.

Stage Two - I'm not thrilled, but I'll do it anyway.

As you keep at it, you'll start to experience the many benefits of exercise. You'll notice that you have more energy throughout the day. Your moods level out, and you feel better about yourself (and your life). The critical voice that monitors your weight and how you look will start to quiet down. And, there's a good chance that you'll also notice a significant decrease in your appetite and stress level. As a result, you'll feel clear-headed, and more able to focus during work or while performing your daily tasks.

Although working out still feels like work during this stage, you focus more on the end result (how great you feel afterwards) than on the task at hand.

Stage Three - Wow, this ain't so bad after all.

Once I'd been exercising for eight weeks, I not only felt good after a workout, I started to feel good while I was doing it. My cardiovascular endurance increased, and I noticed that I could run for longer periods of time on the treadmill during my interval training (alternating running and walking to raise my heart rate). The amount of weight I could lift also increased and I started to see muscle tone. I still remember the day I stood in front of my bathroom mirror flexing my biceps and seeing definition not only in my arms, but also in my shoulders! At this stage, seeing and feeling results will fuel your desire to honor and strengthen your body. You'll love how you feel!

Stage Four - Exercise is my secret weapon.

When you get to this stage you realize that besides being the key to health and longevity, exercise builds self-esteem and gives you the ability to live life on your terms. You recognize that, along with building your muscles, you've developed discipline - the key to making healthy choices in all areas of your life.

At this stage you'll want to exercise. For example, when I feel overwhelmed during the day, I jump on my elliptical trainer and do a quick 20-minute workout to clear my head, burn off stress, and get focused.

When you reach the stage where exercise becomes your secret weapon, you'll be amazed at how easy it fits into your schedule.

Once you develop the discipline of exercise, you'll still have days when you'd rather not go to the gym. But the difference will be that on those days, you can afford to stay home knowing that you can trust yourself to get right back on track the next day.

The key to reaching stage four is to focus on taking small, progressive steps. For example, if you're at stage one, just focus on your next workout. When you feel like you've lost your motivation, use this mantra:

"IN ORDER TO GET FROM A TO Z, I ONLY NEED TO TAKE STEP B!"

I've become someone who works out nearly every day. I've made it a "joyful priority." Since I claim that one of my top values is health, I've learned to put my commitment where my mouth is. When health is a value, and you understand and respect the stages of development, it's easy to make the time.

Source

This moment is the only moment you ever have to take care of.

What we think of as "the future" only ever comes to us as the present moment.

Life becomes so simple when we realize that all we ever need to confront and respond to occurs in this moment alone. Nothing else exists. Future does not exist. Only this -- this moment, these surroundings, these current thoughts and feelings -- exists.

And when there is no future, fear disappears. There is nothing to be fearful of in the present moment. If a threatening situation presents itself, only swift consideration and response is required; there is no time for fear.

Condense all that you believed your life to encompass, including your past and your illusory future, to this very moment.

Only this requires your attention and consideration. How will you choose to respond to your life (which is only ever this moment) knowing this truth?

Is it true that I need you to desire me? Is it true that if you do desire me, some kind of miracle will occur and I will finally feel complete and happy?

I am slowly starting to realize that nothing internally actually changes when someone I want to like me does. I'm left with the same exact mind as the one I started with, the same exact "problems." I'm not fulfilled as a person, my life isn't complete, nor does life itself suddenly become easy for me to handle. As I said before, this mind that I must learn to live with and, dare I say, eventually learn to love, is exactly the same. Isn't it really our own minds that we hope will change as a result of someone liking us? Maybe we're unconsciously hoping that if that other person likes us, then we'll like us too...

My crush sent me a text last night that said, "I want you." Point blank. Of course, nothing really happened, at least on the inside where it really matters, as a result. Sure, I was giddy for a moment, but surprisingly quickly, the giddiness wore off and the same "problems" and worries from before were quick to take its place. Even the feeling of giddiness I experienced was a reaction born in my own mind in response to an external stimulus, i.e., the text. In other words, I gave myself that experience of giddiness; I just have easily could have thought, "He only wants me? I need him to love me!" and given myself an experience of frustration and despair rather than giddiness. The point is, I am the one responsible for my own state of being. I, and no one else, am the one in power here. I can choose how to respond to what goes on around me. I can choose to be fulfilled as a single woman, or I can choose to be fulfilled in a relationship. The choice is mine.

I can choose to treat myself with patience, compassion and understanding and focus on the beauty in the world around me, or I can choose to hate myself and everything around me for not meeting some unrealistic ideal in my head - the original source of which God only knows. Whether or not I'm in a relationship makes no difference. I can just as easily hate myself and be miserable while in a relationship as I can on my own. Judging from past experience, it's actually been more difficult for me to see the world clearly and positively when I've been in a relationship than when I haven't. The drama of the relationship honestly served as just another roadblock to me accepting and surrendering to the present moment. Many times, it was just more peaceful for me to be single.

I think it's human nature to experience a positive moment with someone and assume that the other person is the source of the happiness within us. Thinking this, we latch onto that person and become afraid of losing them. What we fail to realize is that the source of our happiness is not the other person but inside ourselves. It was our reaction (i.e., our thoughts) in response to that person or situation that created a feeling of happiness within us. If we had been having a "bad day" that day, that happy experience could have been a disastrous one.

The question really becomes, how do we change our thinking? How do we increase the number of positive reactions we experience and decrease the negative ones? Trying to associate with people and environments that have generated positive reactions within us in the past can work up to a point but is ultimately not a dependable means of increasing happiness. Circumstances change. People change. The same person that "made" us happy a week ago can "make" us mad the next.

Is there a way to feel peace regardless of external circumstances? That is what I am hoping to find out...

How to Express Your Creative Potential

By Cheryl Richardson

I’m a big fan of talent shows like The Voice (my current favorite), American Idol, and So You Think You Can Dance. I record the shows weekly (when each series airs) and I use them to motivate me to work out. I have a rule: I can watch a show as long as I’m moving on an exercise machine in our home gym.

I love these programs because I’m passionate about music, I love singing and dance, and I get so excited seeing people express their creativity and talent. Don’t you just love that moment of magic when a performer seems to transcend time and space and become one with the audience and their art? Just think of Michael Jackson dancing in Thriller and you’ll know what I mean.

I also appreciate the fact that, more and more, these programs are showcasing the benefits of having a mentor or coach. The feedback delivers clues as to what it takes to bring our best to the game. The most common piece of advice is always the same: be yourself. The mentors on The Voice, for example, are always suggesting that the singers relax into who they are so they’re better able to shine from the inside out without worrying about what others think. Easier said than done, I know, especially when you’re in the vulnerable position of being on stage in front of judges!

The funny thing about being yourself is that you have to lose your self-consciousness – the habit of judging yourself – in order to do it. You need to become so immersed in the moment and within yourself, that you begin to channel your pure creative spirit. It’s in this empowered state that we’re able to not only do our best work, but also experience the blissful joy of creative expression. As we link up with the Divinity in the present moment, we naturally connect with each other – the greater Oneness of all. That’s when the fun begins. Learning to be fully ourselves without concern for the reactions, judgments, or expectations of others is a life-long journey. Regardless of how confident and self-possessed you are there will always be times in life when you feel vulnerable and afraid to be yourself. That’s called living as a human being on planet earth .

The important thing to remember is that self-consciousness is about you - not other people. I made the mistake of thinking that my awkwardness on stage, for instance, was about my fear of how others might judge me. But, I learned that my self-consciousness was really my fear of judging myself once I got off stage. This is such an important piece of wisdom to understand (thank you Debbie Ford). I now have a blast on stage and, as a result, my audiences have fun learning, too.

The more you become your own best champion, supporter, cheerleader, and trusted confidant, the better able you’ll be to fully and joyfully express your blessed creativity. That’s when your art becomes more and more successful in the world.

It begins with treating yourself with love, respect, kindness, and compassion.

If you’d like to lose your self-consciousness and empower your creative spirit, start by answering the following questions:

What do you need to do (or stop doing), right now, to become a better friend and supporter of yourself?

What do you need to stop saying to yourself?

What kind of encouragement do you need?

Who do you need to spend more time with?

Who do you need to avoid?

The answers to these questions will get you started on the road to fuller self-expression in a way that feels good – really good.